Lightly, Child: Diary Of A Fallen

Atoms,

Sensations,

Space,

Sound,

Light,

Air,

Still themselves.

A piece of flesh floating under the sun,

With an inner nothing-self.

---

Time arises,

But the spine bends,

Time reminds,

But the will to stand ceases.

Is it the Illusion of time,

Or illusion of self,

Caught up in a crossfire

Between perturbed mind

And a painful mine.

Silent meteors rip through the body.

The heart bears craters

Even the moon would shy from.

The mind silenced

Like life after an extinction.

A loss survives,

One the battled warrior now sits with,

Nourishes,

Wears like the armour,

Shining with the truth of all he's endured.

---

Everything weighs on the mind,

Yet the unknown surrounds it.

What appears in consciousness

Are mere shadows.

As the light slowly disappears,

Fear engulfs.

Eyes tear up.

The luminosity of life

Becomes merely an interval

Before the dark abyss

From which we came,

To which we will end up.

---

Alone with the breath,

But accompanied by memories

That were wholly of you.

Lying on a soft cushion,

Yet the walls press in hard.

There's a lifetime in a tick

Of a clock’s hand.

The kind of lifetime you know

If you learned to lose something you love

And watch it behind your closed eyes,

Breathing life into you

While leaving you breathless till you die a thousand deaths.

One day at a time,

One hour at a time,

Sometimes

One minute at a time.

The body became a black hole.

No time,

No space,

Passing through.

---

In a place far away,

A fallen warriors sits

With an idyllic feline.

Gargantuan dark clouds gather

Contrasting his pale skin.

Only the flames of surrender and grief

Hold any colour now.

The armour bore the scars,

But the wounds made their way to the heart.

Helmet off.

Solitude on.

Calm your heart,

Because it’s okay to be lost.

Hurt and defeat

Are pointier than any sword.

Heavy is the love

That weighs your tears to the ground.

The grass soaking beneath,

Feels colder than a grave.

But rekindle in the ashes of the heart,

There’s a rare kindness waiting for you there.

Rest now, fallen warrior,

For the journey ahead.

---

We are conditioned to turn away from suffering.

To distract themselves

Going in strange worlds,

with strange bodies,

To suffice the ego.

To numb the pain.

To drown it in external voices.

To silence it.

To busy it.

To push it aside.

But don’t let it go too soon, my dear.

Let it deep within.

Let it guide you.

Let it Introduce you

To the wisdom you didn’t know you had in you.

Let it tear down

Then rebuild the fabric of every good that you can ever do,

For yourself

For them,

Everywhere you go.

---

Tender touches.

Kind gazes.

Light, butterfly kisses,

The harder you love,

The harder you grieve.

The deeper the pain,

The deeper the love you still have left to give.

---

Remember what Huxley said:

"Lightly child, lightly. Feel lightly, even though you feel everything deeply."

Even when stream of tears keep gushing down your face,

Lightly, lightly.

Even when every hour

Sinks your heart,

Lightly, lightly.

Even when every second

You die,

Go lightly, child.

Learning to feel the pain softly,

For I am only healed because of my wounds.

Unlearning the impulse for turning away from suffering,

For I am only stronger because of my anguish.

Relearning to be feel lightly,

For I’m only beautiful because of my brokenness.

---

Johansen said:

"For my darkness is mine to face,

My pain is mine to feel,

And my wounds are mine to heal.

But will you sit with me here,

While I courageously show up for it all, my dear?"

So,

Will you… hold my hand for a little while,

So I can rest?

Will you… give me your hand,

So I can calm my chest?

Will you.. sit in front of me again,

So I can see the sun rise again?

Will you… be present,

Until the sun and moon

Find each other in the sky again?

So,

Will you hold my hand until I return again?

Cover artwork by Fallen King